The True Italian-American Perspective

I am so dearly sorry for the weeks devoid of my Italian-American perspective. I also know that you must be expecting the greatest writing of all time from the title. Well, I'm going to have to say sorry again and plead for the forgiveness of my vast fanbase because I am using a foreign diplomats computer for a few seconds to just catch up. This anonymous diplomat from a foreign land was driving very drunk, but I swear to you he was not apprehended by the police after being pulled over because of his diplomatic status. I consider this to be an indispensable connection. Being Italian, I should have a great many connections. Aaaah. Once again I am so sorry for this lackluster portrayal of my utmost imagination right now; hence, I am tired. Adio. P.S. I should have a new computer in a few days, then I will be back on the writing boards and sharing my spaghetti-laden fantasies once more.

Incapable Capabilities

This segment of incapable capabilities is geared towards the many headaches of working with a university or college and the many perfectly competent staff members who fuel this fire. At this anonymous Detroit university, the cases of incapability are immense in proportion to the number of seemingly capable faculty. Certain ethnic groups tend to lead the way in these incapacities. To avoid persecution, I strongly believe this to be circumstancial and/or coincidental.
Today, I was attempting to speak with an academic advisor concerning class scheduling and pre-requisites. I wish I would've had one of my patented, monsterous farts festering in my loins for this so-called professional to enjoy. First off, it was open to the public today for the academic advisors so I had to wait for about two hours to get my number called as if I was in a Jewish Delicatessen. But, I am a recently converted Buddhist follower; therefore, I possess patience and a hookah.
I assumed that my patience would pay off in the form of a quality academic advising meeting. Mind you, it's not a very difficult occupation. All you have to do, for me, is look up what classes I need to be in for the upcoming semester to fulfill my degree requirements. It's all electronic! It's probably comparable to doing a Google search in terms of technical difficulty. This guy had degrees from an Ivy League school on his wall. I had to ask him if they were counterfeit. He was adamant. It's not such a horrible question. This was proceeding the half of an hour it took him to find, on his computer, only three of the necessary classes. I asked him if he was purposefully wasting my time so that he won't have to deal with more students because time was nearing an end for the department to shut down. Once again, he was adamant. As am I, now, from this difficult situation. ...and that is the first ever segment of incapable capabilities. Adio.

Aggressive Tendencies and Italian Ways

You lookin' at me?  Huh!?  Well, stop lookin' at ah me and start ah lookin' at ah that naked female over there.  If you're lucky like me, this naked female will be a spicy asian like the one to my left.  If not, you'll have to settle for a lesser breed.  At least oriental women still have traditional values, and as Busta Rhymes would say, "Bitches know how to ack; like Mike Tyson smoke crack."  Please hold one second; I'm going to go eat some sushi...

Ok... whooooooo... I am back in black intact big momma.  Man Florida is more than a panhandle; it's also a mecca for the snatch of the universe.  I understand that I am a guido and that makes me more prone to violence and having underage relations with foreign diplomats.  But, I still revere my ancestors and their hard labor practices.  There is a fine line between reverence and aggressiveness.  Since I've been in Florida, I've walked that line more than Dewey Cox and his hard line.  

Refer back to my Testosterone Cost/Benefit Analysis (my first blog).  This will give more informative insight into why I have to be so aggressive in all my endeavors, business, pleasure or otherwise.  And by otherwise, I mean I had relations with a masseuse from Canada a few months back after being told it was a non-happy ending massage parlor.  I guess Asians are hornier than Italians after all.  Or maybe they just smell better.  

Dan's Final Thought/Advice :  Harness your aggressive tendencies without the use of drugs.  Take my word for it.  Tuna fish is much better for you than a heroin salad.  Only perverted minds such as my own would comprehend that.  Keep it clean and sober, and your odds of prosperity will increase many fold.  I love you all even if you are not Italian.  Adio.

Destitution or Institution

Hitting rock bottom and being flat broke and having very little reason for ambition is about what it takes for a man like me to reach closure within myself.  At least there is nowhere to go but "up".  I hope some of you can relate, but I know that it is unlikely that most of you can fathom where I've been.  I'm not being fastuous about my mistakes, but I have to say that I must use these experiences for more than fodder for my vacuous despondency and its internal dissidence in me.  In other words, I want you to understand me.  I won't go into specifics about my life.  I will generalize and substantiate my feelings of course.  

Only twice in my life have I reached the depths of destitution in many aspects of life.  In each instance, I was forever changed.  Some may look at some of the things I've done as signs of immaturity or obscurity in self.  I assure you that I am totally honest and up front about everything and anything, and that is why I know it has nothing to do with either of the aforementioned reasons.  Possibly, but I do believe I have it figured finally to a much more complete extent.  I believe that these bottomless troubles that have haunted me for years now stem from a much much deeper source.  Boredom and a lack of drive for a purposeful endeavor in life are more likely the causes and openings to solutions.  A simple solution would be dandy, but I have yet to find one and have realized that is never an option.  I hope someday that I will reach pure zen and never stray down the path of least resistance for solely the sake of avoidance and ignorance again.  

It's as if allowing destitution to dictate your life choices and therefore the end result, is the end all when in that predicament.  It's easy to give in and give up.  

Darwinian theories are more than just blabber from some drunk that walked around categorizing unknown animals and traveling to funked up places.  He was the founder of the very core of my value system = "Survival of the Fittest M F'er".  And that very thought has proven to be my salvation.  I just buck up and say, "Let's do this."  Drop the drama and ditch the BS because daddy ain't having that and homey don't play dat.  

Dan's Final Thought/Advice : I want to take a moment to thank all of the readers that have made it this far.  You seek truth and understanding and understand that the pursuit of knowledge is unparalleled.  Wisdom is the key to happiness and personal fulfillment aka the American't Dream.  If you cannot live on this planet by yourself then you cannot be truly happy even with someone else who may seem that way.  Dig into your being and manifest greatness through means of all means by all means.  If I were to offer any practical advice tonight other than just my poetic, philisophical blabber, I would lead you down a very distinct path.  The path of Buddhism.  I have never enjoyed religion and its many flaws because it is founded on the writings and beliefs that span too far back where human history was hardly recorded.  However, with Buddhism at least you know that no one is more peaceful in any other religion than you should be.  I have studied and researched this religion so much and have truly been enlightened.  I hope I can at least help to convert at least one person to the path of true righteousness.  And if God is the trinity of Christianity and the truth in the end, and He won't accept a Buddhist, then at least we know God is an asshole and deserves to be judged as we are for his ignorant discretions.  I hope I've opened up your minds a little tonight.  Adio.